I will always have you
by Evil Regal Tease
Summary: Sequel to my oneshot Times up. swanqueen. Warn for depression and what might be considered suicidal behaviors.


**AU: hey eyeverone. So I got a lot of requests to do an additional part to 'Time's Up' so here it is, and yes to understand this you must read the oneshot Times Up. Hope you all like it and any prompt or story ideas you might want me tonwrote is love to hear them, or if you just want someone to bounce ideas off of PM me. also, I had to beta so go easy on me.**

 **XoAutumn**

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For three days Emma followed Regina around, showing up wherever the brunette was, begging her to forgive her, and in all honesty, the mayor wanted nothing more than to hug her and kiss her and tell her she's forgiven. But she can't. She won't do that. Because she's not forgiven. What Emma had done wasn't something that Regina was just going to let slide, and then the next time, and again and again. She wouldn't do that again.

That didn't mean that she had to be happy, just because she made the decision not to take the risk of being with Emma anymore didn't mean that needed to be thrilled about her new found "freedom". No, she was going to wallow in her misery for as long as she wished to. And Emma would do as she wished as well. Unfortunately this process would come with a price for both women, and that price was Henry, because after you stop coming to pick up your child from school, and you forget to get out of bed to make dinner he leaves and he goes to his grandparents where he knows he'll get the attention he needs. Not that he's stopped loving his mothers, he just knows that they need time and he needs things to, that they can't give to him.

X

Regina mills wasn't one to sit much. She preferred to stand. She liked to be doing things. Helping. Achieving some sort of goal and right now, she didn't have one. She had no motivation to keep living. Of course she had Henry and she loved him dearly but she just couldn't seem to pull herself out of bed. It had gotten to a point that he couldn't even stay at the house with her, and she was glad, because at least if he was with snow and charming she wouldn't need to worry about him. She would know that he was being fed and bathed and loved and she could lay in her bed without concern for him. So lay in her bed she did. She didn't get up, she didn't eat, she didn't shower, she just cried, she sobbed in her pillow, and when the anger took over she threw the pillow into something and shattered it. Today the poor victim had been her bedside lamp, now it was dark. She was laying in the darkness of her bedroom staring into the nothingness of her wall when she heard the footsteps.

Soft steps, yet booming in the eery silent mansion.

X

Emma swan had a different way of dealing with her sorrows. Drinking. Every night she would find herself sitting in the booth of the rabbit hole. People gave her looks of hatred, some people simply ignored her, but most just pretend they didn't care, that was until she turned her back and they gossiped about her. Not sure how she got in the leather bar stood, but here she was. Drinking her sorrows away. She's been following Regina around for days, but she finally got it, Regina wasn't going to take her back. It just wouldn't happen, and what was her life without Regina? Empty. Meaningless. Numb. Killian would religious come with her to the bar every day, and personally walk her drunk ass home every morning to Mary Margaret's. David would shuffle her off to bed, and in the morning she would find aspirin and water by her bed, always.

X

"Regina?" Robin called out at her wondered around the seemingly abandoned mansion. Regina may not have feelings for him anymore but that didn't mean that they couldn't be friends, and he cared about her. So when Mary Margret saw him at granny's and told him no one had seen Regina for a week he grew concerned and came right over.

"Regina are you home?" He called up the stairs and waiting for an answer. Not hearing anything he ventured up the steps and checked out the empty rooms. The house was dark and it unnerved him. "Regina?" He called threw the shut bedroom door. "I'm going to come in now..." He said hesitantly.

When he walked in he paused and let his eyes adjust to the drastic darkness. When his vision cleared he was broken glass, picture frames shattered on the floor. A small figure was huddled under a mountain of blankets, slowly and quietly he walked to the figure.

"Regina?" He whispered, not wanting to startle her. "Sweetheart?" He whispered when he got no response.

The bundle of blankets moaned softly and turned to face him.

Her naturally olive skin was a sickly white shade now, her cheeks sunken in, and far circles marred her under eyes.

"Mm r'bin?" Regina mumbled with chapped and broken lips.

"Oh Regina. Oh darling, when was the last time you ate? Or drank!"

The only response he got was a shrug and her eyes fluttering shut again.

"Regina, Reggie wake up" he shook her slightly.

"No wake... Seepy..." She mumbled.

"Regina I'm going to pick you up. Okay? Wrap you arms around my neck" he instructed and she nodded. So he scooped her up bridal style and she wrapped her thin arms around his neck weakly.

"My god, when was the last time you ate a meal!?" He asked and he carried her downstairs.

"H'nry g't me watr" she mumbled.

"Henry has been at the charmings for 4 days! We are going to the hospital. Now."

He shuffled her into the backseat of the car, wrapped the seatbelt around her waist and clipped it in.

"I'm going to call Mary Margret, you just stay awake and we'll get you feeling better in no time, ok Reggie?"

He jumped into the front seat, turning on the car and speeding off towards StoryBrooke Hospital. He pulled out his cell and dialed the number 4, which he new would make the phone call Mary Margret.

"Hello?"

"Snow! I need you to come to the hospital" he shouted, checking back on Regina.

"What? Why? Are you ok? Roland? Marian?"

"No no they're fine, it's Regina-"

"What happened!?"

"She hasn't eaten anything and she said the last time she drank water was when Henry gave it to her. I'm taking her to the ER"

"We will meet you there"

He turned to check on Regina again onto to find her slumped over with her eyes shut tight.

"Dammit Regina" he mumbled, speeding up.

X

"Let's go! David we have to leave! Get Neal, get Henry and get in the car!" Mary Margret shouted as she threw down her cellphone.

"Where are we going?" Henry asked confused yet still slipping on his shoes.

"To the hospital. Your moms not doing ok, I'm not really sure what happened but we need to go see her."

"Neal's ready to go, I'm going to get him in the car" David said as he shuffled the baby out the door with the car seat. Mary Margaret nodded and grabbed the diaper bag before following them.

X

"Help me!" Robin shouted as he walked into the ER. A large brunette approached them stiffly.

"What's the problem?" She asked gruffly with a clipboard in her hard.

"I uh, she's passed out, I don't think she's eaten or drinken anything in days..." He said unsure how to explain the situation completely.

"I need a gurney and page doctor whale." The nurse called, and no more than 2 seconds later two men wheeled out a bed.

"Put her down. We will take care of her, you need to fill this out to the best of your ability" she said, shoving the clipboard at him and rushing after the bed down the hall.

X

"BP is dropping we need a..."

"Get a drip in and a feeding tu-"

Beeping. She heard beeping when she woke.

She tried to sit up but her body felt as though it weighed three tons. She coughed loudly, her throat dry and scratchy.

"Regina?" Snow rushed over to her side, grabbing her hand. "Oh thank god your ok, we've all been so worried!"

She blinked rapidly, trying to get her eyes to focus on the person speaking to her, but as she tried she because overwhelmingly aware of the tube protruding from her nose and went to grab at it.

She looked startled when she felt a hand grab her wrist tightly, stopping her from pulling out the obnoxious tube. Snow stood in front of her hold her arm tightly but not maliciously.

"I-" she coughed out, "I don't like it" she whined like a small child without shame.

"You haven't eaten in over a week Regina. You need it. No choice" the shorter haired woman spoke firmly.

Regina pouted and turned away, pulling her arm free and crossing them. "Where's Robin? I want Robin..." She whimpered slightly, looking around the room to find him.

"Robin will be back in a few minutes he needed go check in with Roland" Mary Margret explained softly.

"m slepy..." Regina mumbled again, against the sedative.

"yes sweetheart, that's your medicine, go ahead and sleep, someone will be here when you wake up..." snow smiled softly lightly brushing hair from Regina's face.

"'nd you gtt mmma?" Regina mumbled her eyes already shut.

"y-you want to see Emma?" she asked, slightly stunned.

"mhmm" she whispered as she drifted to sleep.

x

When she woke again it was dark outside but her head felt significantly less cloudy. She noticed that the tube from her nose was gone now, but more littered other parts of her body.

"Reggie?" she heard a voice whisper near her head. turning to see who the voice came from she saw Robin standing there, worry edged into his seemingly worn out features. "you feeling ok?"

She nodded slightly, not feeling as though she could really talk.

"Mary Margaret said you asked for Emma... would you... uhm.. "he coughed slightly, "she's outside waiting to see if you really want to see her..."

Regina looked up in surprise then bit her lip in thought. She looked down at herself self-consciously, her body had wires and gives hanging out all over the place.

"I don't-" she coughed, her voice scratchy, "I don't want her to see me like that... I don't want to look so weak to her... Robin..." She looked up at him teary eyed, "but j want to see her..." she whispered looking away not being able him in the face with her weakness.

"how about I go and get the doctor and he can get you cleaned up a bit then we'll let her in" he offered gently, lightly holding her hand in a comforting manner.

She simply nodded again and smiled slightly at him.

He smiled back at her and made a move to leave the room when she grabbed his hand halting his progression.

"thank you Robin... for saving me... I honestly didn't mean for that to happen it wasn't purposeful but I also wasn't trying to prevent it..." she whispered shamefully.

"Regina I love you, you are like my sister and I want to care for you so if something like this ever happened again, I need you to tell me about it so I can be there for you." he said and kissed her hand.

She nodded, promising that she would talk to him if a next time ever were to come and then he left to get the doctor.

X

When Robin returned it was with a pair of nurses who explained which they could take out and which they couldn't and the rules for when they took any out, which she agreed to eagerly. The nurses took out the ones they could then left the room. Regina then had Robin help her sit up and move the pillows around to support her body in a less obvious way. She coughed slightly then nodded for him to bring in her blonde love.

"you're sure about this?" he questioned her before even making a move to the door.

She took the question seriously, thinking honestly about all the harm that this visit could do for her mental state, but she couldn't lie to herself, she missed Emma, she missed her in a bone aching, heart crushing sort of way and she needed to see her, whether it would do her good or not.

"I'm sure"

X

Emma walked quietly into the hospital room, almost silent, she looked around worriedly before she took every step, why? she honestly wasn't sure, maybe it was because she was getting ready to run, maybe she was ready to be yelled at. But neither of those things happened, she just walked in, no one to stop her, no voices whispering about her, only her footsteps and the beeping of machines. This would be the first time she rightly sober at night since this whole thing started. When she made it past the bathroom and into the main room she almost gasped at the sight of Regina sitting in the bed.

She was white as Mary Margret, her black hair lifeless and falling flat on her chest, her eyes sunken in and her eyelids veiny not to mention that she looked as though she weighed about 90lbs but she still looked beautiful in Emma's eyes.

"you look like shit swan" came the gruff voice of her lover. She barked out a rough laugh and shook her head, "ever the charmer Regina"

"yea well, that's your name not mine, charming jr" Regina mocked again.

Emma smiled awkwardly again, looking around the room everywhere but Regina's tired face.

"I'm okay em. look at me." Regina's commanding voice called to her and she did as it asked. "you did not do this. this was not your fault, understand? it was me, I did this and I'm going to get better"

Emma shook her head in disbelief, "if I hadn't-"

"stop!" Regina yelled, causing something to beep loudly and Emma jumped in surprise. "it's fine. I'm fine and I need you to hear that."

Emma nodded but stayed silent, thinking for a long moment. Regina stayed silent too, letting Emma do what Emma needed to do.

"I..." Emma said but stopped looking up at Regina as she said it.

"I love you." She admitted, and Regina smiled with watery eyes. " and I want you back, I want to take care of you. I want to be your nurse and heal you, if you'll have me"

Regina pondered this for a few minutes before conceding.

"I will always have you Emma swan"


End file.
